Dog Save The Queen! *EXCLUSIVE* Corgi Interview

A certain someone is celebrating a very important milestone this weekend. I don’t think we need to tell you who! To mark 60 years of Her Majesty The Queen’s reign, StyleTails is excited to announce that we have been hand-picked as the only publication to be offered exclusive access to the Royal Corgis – Monty, Willow, and Holly, plus her three Dorgi’s – Cider, Candy and Vulcan (yes those are really their names). In a year when the Kennel Club has reported a 10% increase in Pembroke Welsh Corgi ownership, these little dogs with a big attitude are making a serious comeback!

StyleTails was invited out to Windsor Castle for a roll around in the grass with this diverse bunch of pooch’s.

All illustrations are done by the very talented *Official Royal Corgi Artist – Jack Bishop bloodybishop.blogspot.co.uk

Candy 

First up, StyleTails sits down with Royal Dorgi Candy, an ex-glamour model from Basildon with hatred for Camilla.

ST: How will you be celebrating the Queens Jubilee?

Candy: I’m getting a vajazzle!

ST: Of the Queen?!

Candy: No, of Prince Philip.

ST: What’s the best thing about being a Royal Dorgi?

Candy: The German guards at the palace.

ST: There are German guards at Buckingham Palace?

Candy: Yeah, the Alsatians. Fit!

ST: What’s the worst thing about being a Royal Dorgi?

Candy: Camilla.

 

Monty

Eton educated Corgi Monty has penchant for Italian leather loafers with red socks and sailing.

 

ST: How will you be celebrating the Jubilee?

Monty: I’ll be taking my Ferrari Dino 1968 up and down Kings Road 15 times

ST: What’s your best memory with the Queen?

Monty: The Boat Race, 1998. She told me I was her favourite that day.

ST: Is there much competition between the Royal Corgis?

Monty: Heavens yes. It’s fierce, but they all know their place in the pecking order.

 

Vulcan 

Conspiracy theorist, UFO chaser and close friend of Robbie Williams, Vulcan speaks exclusively to StyleTails.

 

ST: How will you be celebrating the Jubilee on Sunday?

Vulcan: I have information that on this date we should expect contact from beyond.

ST: What would you be doing if you weren’t a Royal Dorgi?

Vulcan: I would be the first dog on the moon.

ST: Wasn’t Laika, the Alsatian the first dog on the moon?

Vulcan: I don’t believe that Dog has set paw on the moon yet. It was a conspiracy by the Russian Government that I plan to expose.

ST: Who’s your favourite Star Wars character?

Vulcan: Chewbacca, obviously.

 

Willow

Eco-warrior Willow shuns the excess of Royal life and craves a simpler existence as StyleTails finds out.

 

ST: How will you be celebrating the Jubilee on Sunday?

Willow: I’m going to stonehenge. I can’t handle being in London with all that waste

ST: How do you want to make a difference?

Willow: My dream is to move to Hackney and get an allotment so I can live in a more sustainable way off the land

ST: Royal life must be a far cry from that!?

Willow: Their carbon footprints are out of control and they bathe every day. It is pretty disgusting.

 

Holly

After a series of rejections from major record companies, Royal Corgi Holly has high hopes to make it as the nest Lana Del Rey after an image over-all and extreme weight-loss.

 

ST: How will you be celebrating the Jubilee on Sunday?

*Holly passes ST a piece of paper which reads:

Holly: ‘The Queen has asked me to perform a special song I wrote with Gary Barlow so I’m resting my voice’.

* ST Passes a note back

ST: ‘Do you think that people don’t take you seriously as a pop-artist because of your Royal blood’

Holly: ‘P Diddy once told me that I have the 7th strongest voice he’s ever heard. I don’t have anything to prove’.

 

Cider (Dorgi)

Descended from a long line of Somerset apple growers, Cider enjoys a tipple and catching up on re-runs of The Darling Buds of May

ST: How will you be celebrating the Jubilee?

Cider: With a bottle of Scrumpy, , HICCUP!

ST: Is it true that the Queen only drinks G&T?

Cider: That’s actually a myth. We’ve shared a WKD once before.

ST: Would you say that the Royals drink too much?

Cider: …………………………….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*Cider slumped over at this stage. We left him there

 

DOG SAVE THE QUEEN!

Happy Jubilee Weekend

ST x

Category : Living